I look into so many of your eyes and see that small flame. So will let you see what happened on my journey and what is still going on in my head. Eeeek! Scary!
We have done a lot together over the past 18 months. But it now time for us to go our separate ways. It is not that I don’t appreciate what you have done, it is just that I have changed, grown strong and need to lead a different way. Just enough, isn’t enough anymore. My desires for a full happy, balance life of giving must be followed. I feel like you still question whether that is possible. That is too stressful to me, it tethers me to my past and closes all opportunity for the future. You faced situations with stoic, unmovable strength. I choose to face the upcoming challenges with relaxed, faithful, focus. Remember the song “The River”?
You always knew this was a song that resonated. I now know this is a song that I can live. This is the experiences I have had in my life when you were not whispering in my ear and choosing to “be strong” in stead of being flexible and peaceful. That is where my power is. Strength and grit got us started, but only surrender will take us all the way to greatness.
So what I am asking is: Please allow me to take over. Please allow me to shine on and do this the way I know how. I appreciated your role in the past, but now it no longer serves me. Please stop fighting! A seed planted in the ground in fall, must fight all winter the cold and dry environment. Only when it stops fighting, can it allow moisture (love) in and generate that spark of energy to create something beautiful. I no longer need your version of strength, for I have found my own. Mine will turn into a great foundation of roots, a strong trunk of power and leafs like hands of giving that will reach all the way to heaven itself. I will stand strong and relaxed against any storm, and through Gods give of light and life I will become stronger each day.
When you first started this and struggle with the question of who you were you became the rock, with cold stoic strength that you felt you had to portrait. I now choose to adopt a life course and different scripture as my reference. Ps 1: 1-3 says:
“Happy is the man that has not walked in the counsel of the wicked ones, and in the way of the sinners shad not stood, and in the seat of ridicules has not sat. But his delight is in the law of Jehovah, and in his law he reads in an undertone day and night. And he will certainly become like a tree planted by streams of water, that gives its own fruit in its season and the foliage of which does not wither, and everything he does will succeed. “
That is what I choose. Think please of all the people that we can influence if we just live this. That foliage can stretch to cover so many, providing help and love. Everything he does will succeed! That is what you want, and that is what I want.
To accomplish this, I ask you just let go. Or rather, allow me to let go easily. Become silent. I no longer wish to hear you version of things. I choose the new version. I will always thank you for starting the process, but it is now time for me to shine, and allow the love of Jehovah and people into my life, and allow it to become a beautiful beacon in this world like a glorious tree in the summer time, reflecting all that light for others to enjoy.”