So last week we started by explaining that we would be discussing our thinking a lot during this challenge period. The first thing we asked each of you to talk about at weigh in was your goal for this challenge.
Because goal setting is all mental,
if our stinking thinking is broken,
we could be setting ourselves up for failure
right away with our goal or our approach to the goal. Now I will suggest that if you have struggled with your weight for a while
your thinking is probably broken, so this information is VERY important.
If a goal is set for the wrong reason or with faulty thinking we are just setting ourselves up for failure, this time and the next time you lose weight. When our “crazy pie in the sky – dream come true” goal doesn’t happen
we use it as yet another re-enforcement of the fact we “can’t” lose weight.
This will then re-enforce that program or pattern for the next time we “try” to lose weight. Well, I will not let that happen on my watch! Let’s talk about goals from 3 ways of thinking and you see if you can relate to any of these.
First let’s talk about realistic goal setting. Have you watched those weight loss TV shows where a contestant loses 15 pounds in 1 week so they can win a car?! Yup, I have seen them too.
I have a love-hate relationship with these shows.
I love seeing people’s stories, seeing their transformation and journey; I love to see the look on the contestants faces as they realize that they CAN accomplish this goal and their dreams will come true.
NOW, let me HATE on it a bit!
I HATE the stress and anxiety I see on the faces of the contestants at weigh ins. I HATE the way the show is set up to mess with peoples minds (switching trainers, switching teams, pitting people against another, or giving one person a supposed “upper hand”).
I HATE the fact that watching that show makes average people feel like they aren’t losing enough weight.
I HATE that the show is edited in such a way that we don’t get to see all that goes on there.
Lets get a few things straight: those contestants work out 6-8 hours every day, it is their full time job and wreaks their body!
They are on a severely calorie controlled diet
supervised by medical professionals
because it would be dangerous for us to do the same thing
in “real life”.
They have a team of trainers on the show; more than just Bob, Jillian and Dovete, a whole team we don’t get to see. Every day when they are done working out ALL DAY they go to physical therapy and get treated just like professional athletes, ice baths, whirlpool tubs, massages, stretching, and getting injuries taped up for the next day,
because the workouts that they are doing are breaking down their bodies,
while they help lose weight.
is how they can lose 15 pounds in 1 week.
For the average person, that is just not an achievable goal, because you don’t have that at home. You have heard 1 to 2 pounds a week, right?
“But that seems sooooo slow!”
Tell me the truth; if you lost 24 pounds in the next 12 weeks would you be happy? If you lost over 100 pounds this year, would that be enough for you?
The most important thing is if you are losing weight the “right” way,
you can keep it off forever.
So don’t get disappointed in a 4-6 pound weight loss your first 4 weeks.
That is awesome.
Be content that they scale is moving in the right direction.
Do you have the right mind set?
If you get “disappointed” at a 4-6 weight loss can we smack ya? If you tell me your pants are SOOOO much looser but are sad the scale didn’t move, shall we blow up the black balloons and throw you a pity party? If you are losing weight or inches will you be happy??
Lets talk next about your motivation behind setting your goals.
I have had many clients that would say, “When I lose 20 pounds, I will be soo happy” or “When I fit into my size 10’s again, I will love my body”. Have you ever thought that?
I am going to suggest that is simply not true.
No amount of weight loss or inch loss will make you like yourself or be happy.
See, those emotions and feelings take place on a level that is not controlled by the external.
The emotion of happiness doesn’t come from what is going on outside your body, in your life, or what the scale says. Let me explain it this way: have you ever lost that 20 pounds and then looked in the mirror only to continue to be disappointed? “Well maybe just a little bit more!”
That is the chant of an eating disorder.
“I DO NOT have an eating disorder!”
I am not diagnosing you with an eating disorder; but I challenge you to stop and think; what is Anorexia? Isn’t it just thinking, “Just a little more weight off and THEN I will be happy”? Isn’t that what you say every time you start a “diet”? But the illusive happiness never comes.
Happiness takes place inside, not outside.
I am going to suggest that you are doing it backwards. If you truly want to lose weight, start becoming happy and the weight will just leave. When we start eating to take care of and nurture our body and exercise to experience the thrill and exhilaration of body movement, progressive improvement and endorphin release, then we start making ourselves happy. By doing these things we are telling ourselves . . .NO, we are showing ourselves that we matter,
we are enough, we are loved, by our self.
When we start loving our self, enough to care for our body and mind,
we will find happiness.
The funny thing is, we will lose weight along the way. But the happiness must come before the satisfaction with our bodies arrives. We will not be happy with 20 pounds, or a size 10,until we are happy being us. If we become happy, we will be satisfied with our bodies long before we have removed all the excess weight, because in our hearts we know
it is only a matter of time before our body catches up to our mind
and the happiness and contentment we feel there.
So I challenge you, start to find your happy.
Grab something to write with and answer the follow questions:
What action steps will you take this week to show that you really do love yourself and enjoy your own company?
Really, do you want to be around you?
How can you set into happy? Without food!
You are not a dog, stop “treating” yourself with food!
Lastly, let’s talk about things that might get in your way.
One of the Brian Klemmer books I sell in my gym talks about the theory that if we have a clear intention to do something, we will absolutely get it done. If our intention is clear enough then we will have results. Using that theory, if I intend on losing 10 pounds during this challenge, it will happen! Absolutely; with no exceptions!
How does that sit with you?
Is that your experience in losing weight before? When you intended to do it, did it work?
I am going to say,
if it didn’t work,
losing the weight was
You may have thought it was, but is it possible you had a great, even stronger intention?
Have you ever heard others (not yourself of course) say things like, “I am going to lose 10 pounds!” fully convinced they were, and then minutes later hear the same person say, “Well I can’t give up potatoes”, “I love my bread”, “I hate to sweat, so I don’t exercise”, “I don’t eat vegetables”, “I have diabetes, so I can’t really lose weight easy”, “I have always eaten toast, cereal, or nothing for breakfast; I don’t see my self changing it now”.
I have heard all of these and more at the gym with my clients. But guess what; I have also watched as the same people with these “reasons” have changed the way they thought, changed the way they have acted and lost weight. I get texts like “Hey I tried bamboo shoots, and they are delicious!”
They had the intention to lose weight and didn’t let anything get in their way. Their intentions were clear.
I have also had clients who were doing great, losing weight and then . . .
BAM . . .
they put it all and more back on. Their intention was not clear.
Something else in their life was more important to them than losing the weight.
Let’s talk more about that next week. But for now, think . . .
what else in your life is more important to you than having a fit and healthy body so that you can do what you want to do when you want to do it?
I would love to hear some feedback, whether it is what you got out of this post, or things you just didn’t understand. Please leave me a comment below or email me privately at firstname.lastname@example.org